It's been awhile. I haven't posted in some time. I've been very busy. This spring I finished up my pre-reqs for nursing. I walked out of my classes with no idea of what my summer would look like. I had to wait almost 4 weeks to get a phone call. Then it came. On Friday May 18 at 3pm I got a phone call. I was informed I had made it into the Track 2 fast track nursing program at NWACC. I was dumbfounded and speechless. I know imagine ME speechless??? Ms Halloway after the moment silence said "are you ok?" I mustarded up enough air from my lungs to say "I will be" and as I exhaled those words with them flowed tears of joy. She went over some instructions that I quickly jotted down. Thank God my hand was working because my brain hadn't gotten past "you've been accepted into the program" I thanked Ms Halloway and then we both hung up. I sat down for a minute and continued to cry. I had worked so hard to get to here. This was the climatic moment I had been waiting for all these months. I wanted to revel in it for awhile. I had a score of 49.8 out of 53 points possible for the program. While all my friends were telling me I was for sure getting in a part of me was unable to either be that confident or even hopeful. I had hoped for the best but prepared myself for the worst. The realization I had actually made it in continued to rush over me like a wave from the ocean crashes against the beach and slowly works its way back out again. I'd be fine and then I'd hear those words in my head again and start to cry. Moments later I had begun to move on and then it would hit me again. With each instance of cognitive clarity I felt joy, relief and pride. I thought of how far I had come and all those around me who gave me the support to make it this far. I was overcome with gratitude to God, to my family, I probably would have thank my dog even, I was just so happy.
My excessive jubilation had been well warranted. To think at 35 I am FINALLY being given the opportunity to fulfill my career aspirations. I still get teary eyed thinking about it. Fresh out of school I tried to become a nurse. I always knew I wanted to be in nursing. A candy striper at 15 and a CNA at 18. I enrolled and started classes at NWACC in 1997. Sadly it wasn't too long before I was told to pack my bags and go because my "guaranteed" loan didn't come through. Being young and living with your parents is a real disadvantage to getting assistance with school. And well, my parents were the types that didn't believe a college education was necessary and while Uncle Sam said they had an "expected family contribution" my father adamantly disagreed. I was out and that was that. I moved on with my life and put my dreams of becoming a nurse away. I got married had a kid I was content to live a mediocre life doing clerical work and figured the closest I could get to a fulfilling employment would be to work in doctor offices. So that's what I did for many years. I've worked in surgery centers. I've worked for the world renowned Dr Fine. One of the best cataract surgeons in the world. Even still my passion for medicine could not be suppressed. I found myself begging to watch in OR at every opportunity. Dr Fine and his staff of 4 other eye surgeons and one plastic surgeon were so great to let me see several cases. I've seen cataract, lasik, rhinoplasty, blephoplasty, and more. I worked in various other clinics and even did medical billing for an insurance company for awhile.
Little did I know that all this work was preparing me for my eventual destination. By Sept 2013 I should ( God willing) be a nurse. The program is hard and I know much will be asked; no demanded; of me. I am willing to do what ever is necessary for me to succeed in this program. Long hours of studying, memorizing and listening to lecture after lecture. It is not easy. Matter of fact it will likely get harder before it's over. I'm not assured of my completion based on any over confidence of my intellectual aptitude. No, I'm assured of my success because of my determination and desire to FINALLY realize this dream.
I remind myself often I'm living the dream, because being in nursing school leaves little time to sleep and have actual dreams.
William Faulkner said, "The end of wisdom is to dream high enough to lose the dream in the seeking of it".
I am comforted by the knowledge that the loss of my nighttime dreams are a result of my finding them in the waking hours.
